A year ago, on 25th February 2016, I was in London living the last hours of a 7 months adventure. (I went there for a temporary job).
It took me almost a year of ups and downs to plan and live this experience. I left my home town on my own and used all my savings to live in a city I barely knew and where I knew nobody — I went to London several times before that but only for short stays. I was going out of my comfort zone and leaving my friends and family not just for a few days but months. All of that with the idea that I couldn’t come back.
When I was planning this experience, I was unemployed. I was looking for a job without success despite my efforts: rare job offers, discrimination, financial difficulties, pressure, etc.
I used to work both as an employee and freelancer — it’s very common in my sector. But getting any kind of contracts is very difficult nowadays.
I became more and more disgusted by the system and concerned by the bad decisions made by politicians. I was also facing disillusion and losing hope, losing faith in the future.
Yes, we can say I was depressed somehow. But I wasn’t totally aware of it.
Even my best friend started to be worried about me. She used to know me as an optimistic person, cheerful, active, and so on. But I started becoming uncommunicative and negative. I was no longer myself.
Going in London was like a rebirth. I can’t describe it otherwise. While looking for a job, I faced no negative response. What a change! People didn’t care about my name, my origins, my level of English, or anything. I didn’t need to explain what I do for a living nor face people disparaging my job — except one person but he’s an idiot lol.
Everything was possible.
Nothing is impossible. The word itself says I’m possible — Audrey Hepburn
I would be lying if I said I had no problem in London. I went through a lot! For instance, the first two days, I didn’t sleep because of an a***hole living next door forcing me to look for another accommodation and book a hotel last minute — not planned in my budget of course. Three days after my arrival and my first day at work, someone stole my phone. Suddenly I was unreachable and I couldn’t reach anybody.
I broke down.
Should I give up? Should I go back home? Thanks to my best friend and my sister — my laptop and the hotel’s Wi-Fi — I chose to stay. It was the second best decision of my life. The first being to live this experience in London.
I felt at home. You certainly read and heard this quote a thousand time: « Home is where the heart is« . I used to think it was related to a person: a lover, family, friends. But I realised it can also be related to a place.
There’s a particular energy in this city. There is diversity. Most people from different cultures live together and embrace each other’s differences. Culture and art are recognized at fair value. And London is recognized worldwide as being a great place for culture and art, and rightly so. London is open.
Unfortunately, we cannot say the same about Brussels — even if there’s worse. Did you know that the artist’s status doesn’t even exist here? Read more here: Not easy to be a creative. How am I suppose to blossom in such conditions?
Don’t get me wrong. I love Brussels and I recommend to visit it. I guess I just lived what I had to live here. It’s now time for me to go somewhere else.
As the strike deadline drew closer, I felt myself becoming depressed again but I was in denial. Or at least, until the day before the D day…
That day, I wandered the streets of this beautiful city with a heavy heart until late that evening. It was cold, I was frozen and I didn’t even care.
I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t want to go back to Brussels. It was like a great leap backward, a failure for me. I was wrong of course, but how could I think otherwise knowing what was waiting for me?!
But someone told me that it can be positive to take a step back to bounce back.
Deep inside, I knew it wasn’t the right time for me to stay, that I had to sort out a lot about myself both personally and professionally first.
Especially at this point in time I just started to consider music as an option in my career. It wasn’t clear enough to me. I needed clarity. And it requires time, head scratching, patience and hard work.
A year later, I’m still in Brussels & unemployed but my vision and my will are clear. I know what I want both personally and professionally.
This past year, I’ve been mostly working on myself. I needed this time to regroup. And now I’m so motivated! I feel better, stronger and more confident.
Why am I talking about this today? Because I know that a lot of people are facing a similar situation as I’m writing this. And you may be one of them.
I just want to say that it’s going to be fine. Listen to yourself, switch your mindset to positivity, face your fears, accept them, ask yourself the right questions, stay focused and work hard! Never give up! That’s what I chose to do and you can do it too.
Don’t be afraid of dreaming BIG!
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